I have an image of Jesus on my penis...

This had me cracking...

It's not a tattoo or anything I have deliberately done: I thought it was a little dirt or grime at first, but some soapy water and a brillo pad quickly disproved that theory, and there He was, smiling beatifically at me from just below my glans penis.

My girlfriend is a devout Christian, who, when she first saw this apparition, dropped to her knees, exclaiming, " Jesus Christ", which I at first arrogantly misinterpreted as an exaggerated compliment on my manhood.

Needless to say, I was more than a little disappointed to learn the true reason for her impulsive ejaculation. She has now taken to worshiping daily at this makeshift "shrine", which is OK, I suppose, but she no longer wants to have sex with me for fear of offending the real Jesus. She even brought her entire womens' church group over, it was really embarrassing having all these women kneeling and praying to the Jesus on my johnson (but also somewhat uplifting.

Read the rest of it here.